New Kid on the Hallway

The tyranny of choice

Sometime not that long ago (which at this point could be any time in the last ten years) there was discussion in the media about the tyranny of choice: the idea that the more options you have, the harder it is actually to make a choice. There's nothing especially counterintuitive about that idea - on the one hand, I suppose you might assume the more options are out there, the easier it is to find exactly what you're looking for. On the other hand, though, the more options are out there, the harder it is to decide what you want in the first place. 

Shopping at your standard outlet mall these days brings this concept to life.

There's an outlet mall about half an hour south of my city (and an aside: does anyone else remember when outlets were actual outlets? that is, they sold off the seconds/slightly-less-than-perfect models from the current season, and leftovers from previous seasons? rather than being "factory stores" filled with clothing lines made specifically for the outlets, that never bore any relation to the retailer with which the factory store's ostensibly affiliated?). I spent about five hours there yesterday, and didn't even make it through the whole thing before retreating, defeated. (And I actually like shopping!) There's just so. much. stuff.

Anyway, I've lost a bit of weight and it's amazing how much easier it is to find clothes that fit. Unfortunately I ran into that dilemma where the stuff I really liked, I didn't know how much I'd wear, and the stuff I knew I'd wear was - well, just fine. I ended up with a peasant-y top that I really like, and a pair of tailored dark denim crops that I also really like except they're a bit big in the hips (they may shrink, although doubtless not in the hips). I also got three knit tanks (two with lace trim), which will be useful to have but aren't that exciting, and a white cardigan which is a little bit shapeless, but seemed a useful thing for the summer. I'm least sure about a pair of glen-plaid-ish black/white pants (they fit fine but I worry the cut is a bit dumpy), and two short-sleeved cardigans (citron and light gray) (maybe a bit boxy and quite lightweight).

The thing is, I find it impossible to resist cheap clothes that fit. IMPOSSIBLE. (No individual piece I bought was over $24 and most were well under.) Maybe it's because I've spent a lot of time hovering on the edge of standard sizes, having a hard time finding things that fit; maybe it's because going back to school made me feel like a poor student (again).

The thing is, I'd so much rather be that person who buys one or two carefully-chosen, high quality items that I really love, rather than a bunch of crap that's just fine and serves the purpose. When I was in high school I was sort of obsessive about rotating clothes/outfits, because GOD FORBID I wear the same item more than once in a week (or ideally two). The result was that I wore a bunch of stuff I didn't like that much because it spaced out my "good" stuff (so I wasn't that girl wearing the pink dress every week) (here I'm thinking specifically of my hot pink sweater dress from Benetton. Yes, I had one. And I had hot pink shoes that matched. The 80s were a beautiful time).

I've pretty much given that up, and embraced wearing my "good" stuff more often - I would, genuinely, rather re-wear the same few pieces really regularly and really like them and feel good in them, than wear crap for the sake of greater variety.

And yet: I set foot into an outlet mall and I go mad, picking up this piece and this piece and this piece and this piece until I'm carrying great mountains of clothes into the dressing room. And then, if you're buying one $20 cardigan, why not get a second in another color? If you like it well enough to buy it in the first place? Even if it's not the world's most exciting cardigan? 

I was going to say, I suppose the answer is, don't shop in outlet malls (but the cheap! the cheap!). But even outside the outlets, the tyranny of choice can get overwhelming (I had a whole slew of tabs open with different retailers' websites earlier this evening). So maybe the answer is to learn to sew. (Seriously, I wish I lived somewhere you can walk into a shop and have someone make your clothes for scratch.)

 

Slightly random: do you thrift?

In the last year or so I've gotten into reading some fashion blogs, and many of the authors find amazing clothes in thrift stores. I am always amazed at this, because I really really dislike thrift stores. First, I just don't like the idea of wearing stuff that someone else has already owned, worn, and discarded - which is a bit odd, because normally I'm very dirt/germ-tolerant. But I'm also not a very touchy-feely person - unless you're my husband or massage therapist or a VERY close friend in a moment of high emotion, I don't hug/touch and I don't like to be hugged/touched (for instance, I can hardly imagine a job I would like less than massage therapist). So maybe wearing someone else's clothes is too close to being touched by another person, someone I know nothing about?

But I've also realized that I'm a sucker for shopping environment - store lighting, decor, styling, etc. When I face racks upon racks of totally varied stuff crammed together, usually in someplace kind of dusty and warehouse-ish with dingy linoleum floor, I cannot for the life of me see the potential of any given item in what I find to be such dreary circumstances. That's totally a failure of my own imagination, I know, and shouldn't be a reflection on thrift stores or items therein.

Thrifting always reminds me of my middle school/early high school years, when I'd just gotten old enough to care what I was wearing, but not old enough or savvy enough to know yet what looked good on me, or how to get past "needing" to wear the latest fad. My mom, being frugal, always liked to check out Marshalls and TJMaxx before buying stuff at full-price stores. And I could NEVER find ANYTHING I liked there. Everything looked horrible. And the stores themselves were depressing places, filled with fluorescent-lit glare and the dreary dregs of the fashion world.

I'm sure most of that was about teen angst and insecurity rather than anything to do with Marshalls or TJMaxx. I know that Marshalls/TJ's are not the places to go if you have a specific item you need for a specific date - they're the kind of places you need to check into regularly, to see if there are any amazing bargains (and I do pop in to those stores from time to time, though not usually for clothes). But still, they left a bad taste in my mouth. And that seems to have transferred over to thrifting.

That said, a lot of people find a lot of amazing things at thrift stores. A dear grad school friend found her conference interview outfit at a thrift store for $3 - not a suit, but a lovely camel-colored wool jumper/sheath (it buttoned up the front, but was fitted, not baggy) with a cream blouse underneath and a water-color-y kind of scarf. A law school friend found a gorgeous pair of herringbone wool pants for something like $4. So I'm sure I'm missing out - and it may be that I just haven't found the right places to go. But while I envy/admire those who do it, I still can't get into thrifting.

Do you thrift? Why or why not? 

Continuing on a theme from my last post...

Damn, I hate suits.

I have no real objection to the concept of suits - and they look totally adorable on so many of my (younger, thinner) classmates. But I find it almost impossible to find suits that actually look good on ME.

Recently, not long before I was set to travel for a moot court competition, one of my favorite suit purveyors had a sale. (Their stuff is fairly spendy at full price, but they have awesome sales.) And since I still hate all my suits, I thought I'd give some stuff a whirl. I ordered a charcoal lightweight wool skirt suit, a black lightweight wool skirt suit, and a black lightweight not-wool skirt suit. Unfortunately, I loved the black lightweight wool jacket, but the store had sold out of the skirt, so I couldn't get an actual suit, which is what I was looking for. I loved the charcoal skirt, but was iffy about the matching jacket. I thought the black lightweight not-wool skirt suit was fine (and the jacket has a very cute striped lining), so I kept that and took it to the competition. 

(It's probably worth noting that I was deciding all this about two days before I left, when I was also trying to learn/polish my oral argument and do a ton of other stuff, so I was a little crazed at the time.)

Of course, after wearing the damn suit all day for the competition, I discovered that: 1) the jacket and skirt were both boxier than I'd thought they were, and 2) the skirt pulled a bit more about the hips than I'd thought it would. So it was not the world's most flattering suit on me.* 

And just now, I packed up the other stuff to send back, and made the mistake of trying on the charcoal suit again. And deciding that I like it MUCH better than the one I kept and wore. 

Because I really can't afford to keep both suits (and don't need that many suits right now, since I won't start a real job till next fall, and even then I don't think I'm going to need to wear a suit very often). Grrrr. I hate suits.

     
     
*That said, I don't think ANY suits are especially flattering on me. Suit jackets are pretty much all designed to nip in at the waist, which sucks when, like me, you don't HAVE a waist, or, indeed, lean toward the apple shape. And most suit skirts are pencil-y, which I like as a professional look, but they don't look very good on the apple figure, either, because they just make you look widest in the middle. The concept of a pants suit is totally appealing, but for some reason, while I can generally pull off this store's pencil skirts not-too-terribly, their pants do not fit me at all. 

I think I need to stop buying nail polish

Last weekend I bought two lovely Essie polishes - one a kind of murky gray green (Sew Psyched) and one a lovely deep gray-taupe-purple (Merino Cool).*

And then I got a coupon for Barielle polishes, so bought three - Get Mauveing, Putt-E-On-Me, and Belly Dance (they have a buy two, get one free deal).

Then they arrived... 

First, I present to you Putt-E-On-Me v. Merino Cool v. Sally Hansen Commander in Chic (which I already owned):

      

 Obviously, Commander in Chic is a little lighter than the other two, and Putt-E-On-Me may be a teeny bit darker and bluer than Merino Cool (except that Merino Cool pulls darker and bluer than bottle color on my hands). But... yeah. They're kind of all the same color.

Then we have Belly Dance on the left, and Zoya's Pasha on the right (which I already owned):

    
It's a little hard to tell from the promo pic for Belly Dance, but it actually has a lot of silver shimmer in it... just like Pasha.

While I'm at it, I should show you these - Essie Body Language and Color Club Who Are You Wearing?:

   
Yeah. (And I think the Color Club actually looks a bit more lavender than the picture shows.)

So.

On the up side, I clearly know what I like!

But maybe it's time to take a wee break from buying polish until I've identified some other colors I might like.

(Please tell me I'm not the only one who ever does anything like this??)

    

*Of course, the $.99 bottle of grass green polish I bought at the same time was a great investment - I don't own anything else like it, and it looks spectacular on my toes. So much for restraint...**

**Am working on (in my head) a post about the summer and What I Learned On My Summer Vacation Job, but am still too brain dead to do more than goggle at nail polishes.

Dear AT&T salesguy,

If I come into your oh-so-classy broom closet store at the mall, and I tell you that I'm looking for an opaque, hard (NOT silicone) case for my NEW IPHONE!!!! (what? I'm excited!), in a color that's not black?  Do NOT argue with me about what I actually want.  If you don't have anything that meets those criteria, just tell me.  If you'd like to politely suggest an alternative among what you have in stock, that's fine.  But when I've just said (for the third time) that I want something OPAQUE, I do NOT want something translucent, do not argue with me and keep showing me translucent cases that you seem to believe are somehow different from the translucent I just. told. you. I didn't want.

I mean, I get it that you have in stock what you have in stock, and that you want to make a sale, and so are going to push what you have in stock.  But when I'm looking for something quite specific and you don't have it?  Don't get mad at ME for not wanting what you have in stock.  Because you've just guaranteed I'm never shopping at your store again.

No love,

me 

(who is actually in a very good mood from playing with said NEW IPHONE!!!, but I really hate salespeople who try to bully you into doing something only because it makes THEM money.)

Well, that went by fast

Today is my tenth wedding anniversary. How the hell did THAT happen? (Not that I'm complaining, mind you!)

It's sort of funny, because my engagement ring is a sapphire, and NLLDH and I always had this kind of joke/promise that for our tenth wedding anniversary, he would get me a sapphire-and-diamond eternity band (or anniversary band, or whatever you call them). Because that seemed SO far away, and surely we would be well-established in our careers/lives by then, right?

And of course, since that time we've lived in five different cities between us, both acquired new graduate degrees (or are in the process of doing so, in my case), and both moved (or are moving) into different careers. So we're not quite where we thought we'd at this times in our lives, but who cares? We like where we are and what we're doing, at least most of the time, and that's what matters.

(And in case it wasn't clear, I could care less about getting a new ring. It's just a funny thing to realize the thing we joked about because it seemed so far away has come to pass. Besides, I still owe NLLDH a watch; he always thought it was a ripoff that women get engagement rings and men don't have the equivalent [because he wanted that symbol of being engaged, not because of the cost or anything], so I said I would get him a watch. Someday. And it hasn't happened yet, because when NLLDH talks about wanting a watch, he means a REALLY nice one, and we haven't had the money for it yet. I mean, basically all these things are winning-the-lottery kinds of items, and that hasn't happened yet either.)

Anyway, we didn't do much to celebrate today (we have vague plans for going to Vegas for a weekend later in the summer): chocolate cake for breakfast, brunch out, and a visit to the mall to indulge our technology lust. We're both overdue for new cell phones (me because mine sucks for actually having conversations, NLLDH because his is four or five years old, which is like one hundred in cell phone years), and while we're waiting to see what Apple announces on Monday, if they don't have anything especially new to offer, or it's not going to show up for months, NLLDH really wants to get a Droid Incredible from Verizon. Or at least, he thinks he does, so we went to the mall to see what the Droid is like. 

And it is pretty spiffy. But I'm such an Apple girl, it kind of breaks my heart to think of getting anything other than an iPhone. (Plus, I have an iPod Touch, so am really used to that interface.) So I'm really hoping that Apple announces something really cool that will be available sometime this summer, something that can lure NLLDH away from the Droid. I mean, we don't at all have to have the same phone, but it's likely a lot more economical to have two lines with the same carrier than two different lines with two different carriers, and the iPhone's only on AT&T, while the Incredible is only on Verizon. So that makes things a little complicated.

What is not at all complicated is that I got to pick up and play with an iPad at the Apple store, and, hello, WANT. That thing is fricking awesome. Sure, maybe it's more about consumption more than creation. But I do a HELL of a lot of consumption (web, e-mail, books), and would be thrilled to do so on the iPad. It is like a massive iPod Touch, but it's better. I love my Touch, use it all the time, and there was something just so satisfyingly tactile about using this lovely glossy tablet that responds instantly to your touch. I actually thought the virtual keyboard was great, almost effortless to use - I really could type away without errors, just as easily as on my laptop.

The other ADORABLE thing was the guy at the other end of the table, who had his toddler with him. His TODDLER was manipulating the iPad quite happily, swiping and zooming and so on. The dad said, "When he sees a real computer, he tries to do this, now" (where "this" means "manipulate with a touch"). It was pretty awesome.

We decided that an ideal setup for home (assuming we were both working, and therefore had computers at work, rather than going to school, because right now I need my laptop for school) would be to get a 27" iMac to have on a desk for real work, and then for each of us to have an iPad we could sit and play with on the couch while we watch TV, which is what we do with our laptops now.

So there are a few more things to go on the "when we win the lottery" list. Maybe for the twentieth anniversary.

Suit obsession

So, I've been a little bit obsessed with suits since I started law school. I think this is partly because they're a visual symbol of the difference between legal and academic culture (which is a bit of an exaggeration, since profs certainly CAN wear suits - though the only time I usually saw anyone do so was at conferences - and many lawyers only wear suits if they're going to court - out here, at least, which is a pretty casual part of the world). But it's also partly because I actually needed suits, for interviews if nothing else - and of course I didn't have any (not having been the kind of academic who wore them). So my first suit (inexpensive) was bought on short notice because holy crap, I had an interview and I needed a suit! And so I took what I could find, which is black (fine), and polyester (fine, although this is not an especially fine varietal of the fabric and is starting to look a bit shiny/rubbed along the seams) and fits okay (the jacket is quite cute, but the skirt is weirdly big in the waist and pulls across the hips, which is usually NOT a problem I have, but the problem bits are hidden by the jacket). But it has not an ounce of stretch in it, which I especially prefer in jackets (because they get so confining under the arms), and in warm weather it was like wearing armor.

And it always felt like the interview suit. The suit I only bought because I needed a suit, not because I saw it and liked it and wanted it. The suit that I only wore when I was dressing up because I had to.

(My second suit got bought much the same way - I bought a really inexpensive suit from the Jones New York outlet because I desperately wanted something with stretch that wasn't so heavy, and the first time I wore it I realized that because of the stretch, it bagged out and became shapeless after about an hour or so.)

But earlier this semester I got the Talbots spring catalog, and lo! there were suits! that I liked! and wanted! because they were pretty suits, not because I needed a suit then and there! (This was especially exciting because last year Talbots was going through a wanna-be haute couture phase and had maybe three suit-like items that were on the, um, interesting side.)

I drooled over various of those suits for a few weeks, doing the usual agonizing about mixing and matching (I love that jacket but they don't make the matching skirt in the color I like; I love that skirt but they don't have it in my size; I love that skirt but the jacket that matches is hideous) (as an aside, who on earth thinks patch pockets look good on a jacket?? the only thing that's worse is patch pockets on a skirt). But I finally made some choices.

The first jacket that arrived didn't work at all. Lovely color, lovely fabric, made me look like a barrel. So I gritted my teeth and tried again.

And now? Now I am the ecstatic owner of a beautiful navy suit. That fits me like it was made for me. And is made out of a natural material. And has a nice little leavening of spandex. And feels like clothing that I wear because I WANT too, not because I HAVE to. I feel like ME in this suit.

The only damper on my joy? It was a pants suit, which is actually lovely for wearing and feeling like me in, but if I have interviews in more conservative quarters, I'm happier wearing a skirt.

And then tonight, as I sat awake surfing (the downside of the 2 hour nap in the afternoon), I took one last tour through Talbots' webpage and figured out that, glory be! the skirt I thought came in putty, gray, or black, actually came in putty, gray, or NAVY!! (Note to self: don't trust tiny swatches on computer screens.)

It's probably not a good idea to get in the habit of Internet shopping at 1:30 am, but this time round I'm really glad I did so.

Which is all a long-winded way of saying that I know money can't buy you love/happiness, but that occasionally there are those moments when you buy something that just makes you feel good - secure, confident, prepared, comfortable, happy - like at least one of your problems has been solved.

What about you? What was the last thing you bought (clothes or not) that solved a problem and made you happy?

Random Saturday morning

I find myself blogging because otherwise I really need to crack open the law books. Am not sure this is a good sign for either blogging or studying...

Okay, hair update: I got about 2 inches whacked off the bottom, and a long sideswept bang (longer than I'd have preferred, actually, but eh). Plus more layers so it lies smoothly. I like it, though it's not a radical change or anything earth-shattering. But it is nice.

We'll have to see how it grows out, though. I go to an Aveda salon and it's really nice, but I have concluded over the years that Aveda people tend to give subtle haircuts. It's all fairly natural looking, pretty low on the artificiality/theatricality scale. That's probably good now I'm ensconced in the world of law, but I do find they tend to grow out and get a bit shapeless quickly. The upside is that you walk out of the salon with a haircut you like (no growing-in period!), but I feel the cuts don't last as long.

Mind you, having hair that grows quickly and the habit of waiting at least 8 weeks between cuts may have something to do with this.

Of course, the biggest problem is that I keep thinking if I find the right haircut, I will walk out of the salon transformed into a goddess. And yet, strangely enough, I keep walking out of the salon as me. Go figure. 

Anyway. Have made it to the weekend, which would be more of a relief if that didn't mean I have 2 days to fill with work. My to-do list includes:

• reading for classes for next week (this SHOULD include making up the reading I missed while I was away, but I kind of suspect I'm going to put the make-up reading off until it's too late even to pretend it will get done!)
• researching like a mad thing for the seminar paper I have to write this semester (I really really want to do a good job with this... but the first topic I was exploring [grad student unions!] really wasn't going anywhere; couldn't think of anything new to add to the debate. Am now thinking I will look at accommodations for students with mental illnesses. Wish me luck!)
• completing the next draft of my casenote (currently, I think my casenote is INCREDIBLY boring; the question is whether I want actually to make it good, which will take a fair amount of work, or whether I want just to fulfill what's required, which might allow me to get away with only fixing grammar and egregious mistakes. If I make it good, I might be able to publish it; the real question is whether I want to put in the effort required to make it good enough that I won't feel like a prat trying to publish it.)
• reading a bunch of articles to decide if our law review should make offers on them (can I tell you how STRANGE the student-run law review system feels to me, after being in the world of peer review? why the hell should anyone let ME decide whether or not a legal article is worth publishing? I guess I can console myself that I'm not any WORSE a judge than anyone involved in any of the OTHER law reviews out there, right?)

Beyond this, I should actually get some exercise (especially since it's nice and sunny here today), as well as try to plan some meals for the upcoming week (which, who am I kidding? is not going to happen).

AND I'm currently mildly stressed because last week I gave my first project to the judge I'm interning for, and she will probably give me her feedback on Monday. I went through three drafts with the clerk who assigned me the project, but something the judge said before I left made it sound like she thinks it need EXTENSIVE revision. Crap. I really want this woman to think well of me so I can get a good reference! I mean, if she thinks it sucks there's nothing I can do but learn from the experience and figure out what she wants me to do to fix it, but still, it would be sooooo much nicer to impress her from the start. Sigh. State court was sooooo much more laid back than federal!

Okay. That's enough whining. I should go accomplish something other than reading blogs, writing this, and spending money online! (Here. I love this stuff. I'm never so happy as when I'm running out of soap and therefore have an excuse to buy more! Word to the wise, though - don't replace the ".net" at the end of the address with ".com", or you get a very different kind of website!)