Sort of a New Year's Post, but not really

I have been trying to write a New Year's post for almost a week now, and I keep abandoning it. I guess that just proves one of the points I keep trying to make in said abandoned posts, that January 1 just doesn't really feel like a new year to me - I've been on the academic schedule too long to think of anything other than the end of August/beginning of September as the beginning of the year. I'm sure I will get weaned off of this eventually, but not this past year, when I moved and started a new job in August, nor this coming year, when I will do the same in (probably) September.

I have two specific goals for the year, and neither have to do with work (although I do want to succeed in my current job and survive my new one. But those are far too ongoing and all-encompassing really to be resolutions in any way).

First, I want to KNIT A SWEATER THAT ACTUALLY FITS AND LOOKS DECENT. I keep starting sweaters and abandoning them once I realize the size is wrong, or the yarn doesn't fit the pattern, or the pattern is going to look horrible on me. I have one sweater about 1/2 done right now that looks really, really promising - I tried on the part I've managed to accomplish, and it fits! and looks like a sweater! and is comfortable! (It's also looking very very green - almost nuclearly green. But I'm ignoring that part).

The thing about knitting, for me, is that I enjoy the process, but I also really really want to possess whatever object it is I'm creating. I want to make STUFF for ME that I will use and enjoy. But I keep moving to warmer and warmer climes. I'm moving to a state that has had a streak of 39 days in a row above 100 degrees, and where the average lows in December and January are about 40 degrees Fahrenheit. There isn't a lot of point in making hats or cold-weather scarves or gloves and mittens or blankets and the like. So if we're talking stuff I would actually use, we're left with sweaters(non-wool sweaters, mostly - light cardis, short sleeves, but sweaters). Which kind of rules out quick/instant gratification knitting, and puts me in the land of long-term projects.

BUT THIS YEAR I WILL FINISH ONE DAMMIT.

My second goal is to GET A BIKE AND LEARN HOW TO USE IT PROPERLY. I'm less wound up about this one right now, since it's freezing and there's snow on the ground here right now and it gets dark by 5:30 pm. But where I live now is a cyclist's paradise, and where I'm moving to is even better, and ever since getting into spin, I have really envied all the cyclists I see on the trails by mountains where I live. So I would really love to do this at some point in the next year.

(Of course, it's probably been a solid decade since I've been on a bike that actually transports you somewhere, and I'm kinda terrified of crashing. So I think I'm going to be true to the total over-educated wimp I am and take a bike-handling class.)

So those are my goals - the fun ones, the ones I've chosen and am excited about. As I mentioned, I also want to succeed in my current job and survive the first few months of my new one (which kinda scares me, but that's good for you, right?). But those don't really feel like things I'm choosing to do - they just go with the territory. Does anyone really not want to succeed in their job? I'm sure even the people who don't care about their jobs would nonetheless prefer not to fail. (Unless you hate your job so much you want to do such a bad job that you get fired, but even that's a goal.)

This is preying on my mind a little right now because I'm behind at work and a little terrified I'm not going to get certain stuff done by the time it needs to get done. But I have to remind myself the work does always get done - I may have to stay late and run on little sleep for a while, but it gets done - when I was teaching, the semester always did, eventually, pass; here, the cases will pass, too. I guess what I really mean is that I dread the next couple of weeks. For which there's no one to blame besides myself! (Which doesn't actually make me feel any better, but is useful to remember.) (I'm behind in part because I engaged in a fairly intense job search in October and November, and I got in a very bad habit of letting that distract me. So time to focus again, which I've been doing successfully, but I still have to pay for my sins.)

It doesn't help that I spent almost two weeks at home with LDH over the holiday, and now I have to adjust to being here on my own again. It's nice here and all, but I find myself staying up till all hours of the night - even on work nights - which is my classic "LDH isn't here" thing to do, and I have to stop (I was kind of zombified for the short work week, even after sleeping tons over the holiday, because I refused to go to bed when I need to). And I've also spent too much money on clothes - I can't resist the post-holiday sales. Everything I've bought has been from 40-60% off full price, but, yeah, that excuse only goes so far. (I should add that I'm shopping online so none of this has arrived yet, and I have no intention of actually keeping everything, because most of it probably won't work on me anyway. But the amount of stuff winging its way towards me is still freaking me out a little. As if it's just magically happened without me playing a part...)

So, staying up late and spending money: two classic signs of anxiety and depression in my world. Which means it's time to get back to the gym (me and all the resolute hordes), as well as do other stuff that takes me out of my own head. I'm nearly done with training to volunteer at the humane society here, so I need to get that done so I can be scheduled for a regular shift and get some kitteh cuddle therapy. And I've signed up for a Spanish class that starts a week from Monday, which I'm excited about - both to learn the language, and to interact regularly with people I DON'T work with. (I really like everyone I work with, but apart from my hairdresser, and the guy who teaches my spin classes, they're about the only people I ever talk to.)

Here's my awful confession about Spanish, though: I am not really expecting to have to work very hard, since I've taken French, Italian, and Latin, and when I look at written Spanish I can pretty much parse the sentence structure - identify the verbs/nouns/adjectives, that kind of thing. And I can get an awful lot of the vocabulary, too.That said, I can't speak a damn thing besides English, nor can I understand word one of spoken Spanish. And this time round, I'm taking the language because I really really want to be able to speak it. So I also suspect at some point I'm going to hit a cinderblock wall and suffer a rude awakening about how much work it requires. But it will be good for me.

Anyway. Not sure how I really got to this point, as this isn't what I intended to talk about when I started this post. As you can see, the whole New Year's post thing clearly isn't working for me. But I will stop here, because otherwise it will be June before I manage to say anything about the New Year.

* * * * *

As an aside, I wanted to thank you all so much for your sweet comments on my previous post about Middle Cat. They are all immensely appreciated.

 

Comments

[nitewriter]

You're right and I've never thought of it that way before. Aug/Sept is the new year, not Jan 1. New Years has always meant going back to work the very next day and somehow, that's too soon after nearly two weeks off. About knitting -- check out my friend Chloe's knitting blog http:// chloeknits.blog spot.com/ She is REALLY into knitting and you'll get a lot of good stuff from her blog. My DIL got into biking in mini-marathons last year. This year we gave her cash to buy a used, high-end marathon bike (not that I know anything about that but they're special I gather). She found on on craigslist and drove three hours to check it out and came home with it Friday. She's so excited! Biking is wonderful for exercise and just for relaxing and enjoying the scenery.

I think your New Years post worked out quite well. A lot of reflection and introspection which is always a good thing. Good luck with both aspects of the jobs. The next couple weeks might be rough but, as you said, you know how that goes and there's always an end in sight.

Happy 2013!

[Rudbeckia Hirta]

Here is my Internet advice to you:

1. Sweater

I have finally discovered that I do not like the way that raglan sleeves fit on me, so I will never be happy with a sweater with raglan sleeves. The next time you indulge in mall therapy, pack a small measuring tape and notepad. Try on all sorts of sweaters and make notes about the ones that are most flattering, including sleeve style and some key dimensions.

2. Language learning

I am currently learning German. No one wants to ride in a car that I am driving because I play nothing but learn-German podcasts. The best ones that I have found are professionally produced by Deutsche Welle or the Goethe Institut. There has got to be a similar organization that is interested in promoting the Spanish language.

[AnonP]

The Spanish equivalent of Goethe Institut that the previous commenter mentions, is Instituto Cervantes. You might also want to listen to Spanish radio on internet for total immersion into language.

With respect to instant gratification in knitting, you could still try scarves but make them in e.g. silk for fancier products or cotton for every day use (for example, I use my cotton lacy crocheted triangular scarf to cover myself when the AC in our building is set too high in the summer).

[Dame Eleanor Hull]

About learning languages, especially to speak them rather than learn, I agree with Anon and Rudbeckia: listen as much as possible. Songs, talk shows, television, telenovelas, anything, and you don't have to try to understand it, just let it wash over you so you pick up the rhythms of the language.

About jobs & success, well, yesterday on public transportation I sat next to a woman with a book titled "Successful women think differently" or something like that, and I was so unkind as to think "Successful women wash their hair." And then I felt bad because other stuff she had with her suggested that she was a social worker and no doubt of considerably more use in the world than I am.

[Anastasia]

No, see...once you acclimate to the warmer clime, you find that you're shivering and need a sweater once it hits about 70 degrees. At least that's what happened to me.

[Angela]

My bike (a Raleigh 21-speed Sport Comfort hybrid) is coming out with all my other stuff in February or March, and I *know* I won't even take it out of the garage by the time you leave for your new state. You're welcome to borrow it to use for the rest of your time there if you'd like.

[profgrrrrl]

I feel like I celebrate 2 new years each year, with the calendar one being the bigger deal. That may be because my birthday is at the very end of Dec, too.

But as I was reading this I was thinking how funny it is that all roads lead to the gym at the new year (for many different reasons, but in the end physical activity is such a core part of being, is it not?).

Happy 2013!!

[bardiac]

What they said about language listening and radio. It helps tons!

[firstmute]

I second the thumbs down on raglan sleeves. They're AWFUL on almost everyone, and plenty of other so-called "seamless" styles aren't much better. They're sold to knitters, especially new-ish ones, as being easier--which they are. But as you say, what's the point of knitting something if you hate the way it looks on you?

Set-in sleeves are really not that hard. There's a teeny bit of a learning curve, but it's totally manageable--especially with the wonder of internet tutorials. (Of course maybe you've already tried them and you're still not having luck finding a sweater you like--in which case ignore this!)

[smalltownprof]

Re biking ... I would not recommend doing a "class." Ask at the bike shopo about a slow, conversational trail ride and start riding with a group. Then just relax and ride. If you ride along saying "oh shit oh shit" then you have a higher likelihood of crashing. If you just relax and have fun then you will ride smoother and more importantly, you will ENJOY IT.

[New Kid on the Hallway]

Thanks for the comments, all!

nitewriter, thanks for the blog suggestion! I've been looking for more good knitting reading.

Rudbeckia - those are both excellent ideas. As for the measuring, I should just start in my closet. And since I drive half an hour to and from work every day, language stuff would work excellently (well, probably better on the ride home than on the ride to work, which I do pretty much on autopilot...).

AnonP, Instituto Cervantes is where I'll be taking Spanish! and yes, I'll have to experiment with various cool-fibered scarves.

Dame Eleanor - you remind me I can take advantage of the gazillion Spanish language channels on my cable.

Anastasia - it's funny, my heat tolerance keeps going up, and my cold tolerance keeps going down! though I think my new home will test that, at least for bit.

Angela - thank you so much for the offer, that's so kind! I may take you up on it, at the very least to test out my very rusty bike riding skills, and figure out what kind of bike I like.

profgrrrl - the birthday/new year thing makes sense a lot of sense to me.

bardiac - good to hear! at least there are lots of opportunities here. I already find it intriguing to listen to Spanish language radio occasionally and see which words I can recognize. ("Cuando"'s pretty recognizable.)

firstmute - thanks for the vote of confidence! I would never have been able to get even as far with knitting as I have without the internet tutorials. I will have to finish knitting some sleeves before I can set them in. But I'll get there. ;-)

smalltownprof - you are overlooking how antisocial I am - I'm sure at some point this will change, but right now I have no desire to ride in a group! (inferiority complex and so on.) but you're right about the nerves making it worse.

[Angela]

I'll let you know once I know when the stuff is arriving. I'll be in town for a short visit the week of the 20th (to my new home, that I haven't seen in person! *gulp*), then I'll be able to finalize more details. Since the move is happening earlier than it could have, I hope we have opportunities to get together a few times before you leave.

[Angela]

Oh, I forgot to mention that I'm going to start taking Spanish too once I get a bit settled, maybe late April or May. I took it in high school, but I've lost most of what I learned through two decades of disuse.

[Negativecapability]

Oh, I've got the bike part dialed in. Seriously. Let me know when you get here.