So, I've been here 3 1/2 weeks, and I like the city, and I like my job (trials! so fascinating!). But today was one of those days when I've been thinking, Why did I think this was a good idea again? Oh, all the reasons for doing this clerkship still hold true. But it's been a depressing day.
Completely unexpectedly, it turns out I am two and three degrees of separation away from two of the Americans killed in Libya today (last night? the news broke this morning). I did not know any of them, am not even particularly close to the people who created the connections, and can't claim any grief. But there's something horrifying about having even this minimal link to people killed by violence half a world away. (Their deaths are, of course, just as horrifying without my teeny connection to them - but there's a difference when such events are personalized - even if there shouldn't be, there just is.)
At the same time (and I know that in the grand scheme of the world, these things are completely different), one friend's kitty died in the last couple of days, and another friend posted they would have to say goodbye to their kitty whose kidneys are failing. As Middle Cat's kidneys are failing. (When we brought her in for her latest illness, they did an ultrasound for fear she had cancer - or I should say, more cancer. Turns out, she looks great - except for her kidneys, which look terrible. I mean, we knew her kidneys were failing, but it's still depressing.)
It's days like today that living on my own in a city far from my husband and cats just feels like a really dumb idea.