For symmetry's sake...

...I report on the second (LAST) day of the Bar. 

Today was 6 hours of multiple choice. Again, no idea how I did - some questions seemed easy, and then of course you overthink and wonder, "It can't really be THAT simple, can it?" and start to second-guess everything.

And then there was the point about a hour and a quarter from the end, where I could probably have put my head down on the table and gone to sleep. I keep having to reread stuff because I couldn't focus to save my life. I perked up again before the end, and I always have plenty of time left on the multiple choice (not that I necessarily get the right answers, I just read fast), so was able to review everything, but the last hour and a half was loooooooooong.

I won't even go into the concepts/doctrines that I had never even heard of, that BarBri didn't mention ONCE. They weren't even fake statements of law thrown into the answers to try to confuse you (advice from our BarBri lecturers: "It's Latin! You're going to want to pick that answer because it's Latin and that must mean it's right! But don't ever choose the Latin!"), because they were both referenced in the fact pattern. I'm just going to hope that no one else knew what they were, either. (I am currently refraining from looking these things up on the internet because I don't want to know, even though I do.)

Here was the really weird thing about the second day, though: I was actually really sad when it was over. Not the exam itself, of course - I counted down the last 20 seconds of the afternoon exam time with a big grin on my face. But this felt, finally, like the end of law school. I knew at graduation that I'd see people in bar review and at the exam itself, but now? Now it's REALLY over. I know for a lot of people, that's a good thing, but I liked law school; and I also just tend to find endings sad, even if they're giving way to good things. I was sad after my dissertation defense, too, just because it was the end. 

(I was also feeling really sorry for myself because everyone else seemed to be trooping off in groups to go celebrate being done, and I wasn't part of any of them, and I've kind of convinced myself that without actual school to bind us, none of my law school friends will have any interest in me anymore. Which is unfair to them and, if in any way true, my own fault. But reason is not really my strong suit at the end of two straight days of working my brain really hard.)

But whatever. I don't have to worry about this again until October (although I will, of course). And right I'm sitting up watching whatever TV strikes my fancy, JUST BECAUSE I CAN. (And because I'm too tired to leave the couch.)

Comments

[helenesch]

For some odd reason, this post really resonated with me (and it's not because I think I'd really like law school--or studying for the bar!) I too feel sad when phases of my life end, though I often find myself confused or surprised by my own reaction when the thing that's ending was stressful or difficult. It's like I expect to feel happy, relieved,and somehow "free" and yet I end up feeling a bit lost.

On a more positive note, congrats on completing the bar exam!

[LR]

Congrats!! I always enjoy reading your blog posts.

I'm studying for the LSAT and voluntarily forcing myself to be a hermit. Cut off facebook and gchat, so a lot of my friends from college are pissed. The fact that groups of people went off celebrating might be a sign that they weren't as serious about the barzam as you.