Fat girl woes

You know what really annoys me? The way some stores that carry my size online won't carry that size in the stores. I mean, clearly those stores would like to sell me stuff and take my money, but they don't want me actually to shop in the store? You know, in public?

(I'm sure someone will comment about the cost of renting retail space and how store-owners need to earn a certain amount of profit to cover the costs and they calculate out what will sell and they have to reach the broadest audience, blah blah blah. But there's a pretty big audience of large women out there. I know retailers regularly offer more stuff online that they do in their stores. It still feels crappy, though. And I can still generally squeeze into the top range of "normal" sizes - the options for people larger than I are even worse.)

Then there's the way that even stores that have a "plus" department tend to segregate that department away from the "normal" clothes, and offer only a sad fraction of 1) what the "normal" sizes get or 2) what they offer online.

Finally, can I just say that, yes, I am apple-shaped, and I am fatter than many people. But that still doesn't mean I want elastic inserts in my waistbands. Could I just get clothes cut to fit me, the way that "normal"-sized people do? (Okay, even "normal"-sized people have trouble finding things cut to fit them properly. But still. No elastic waists, please! Spandex blend fabrics, great. Elastic waists, not so much.)

Comments

[PhilosopherP]

I agree!

The other thing that bugs me is just trying to find the "plus" size part of any department store... because they use such different code words at every chain... funny, at a few of my regular stores, the plus size is down by the cookwear... like that's not some kind of non-coincidence...

[chels]

I love elastic!

[Notorious Ph.D.]

I'm with you. Also, I live in a part of the country where plus-size stores start at size 12... and one, in a particularly chi-chi part of town, starts at size TEN.

It's irritating as all get-out.

And elastic waistbands? Hells, no.

[Laura]

I have the same problem with petite sizes--apparently all short people are old ladies who yes, want elastic waistbands and polyester. Bleh. Even nice stores like Ann Taylor, where I do most of my shopping, often only have a handful of the options in petite as they do in regular. Also, I generally only care about petite bottoms not tops, but most places I go seem to have a ton of petite tops but fewer bottoms. Hello? We're short not always tiny on top. Sigh. I absolutely hate shopping, especially as I get older and things just are sitting where they did when I was 20. It's depressing.

[Rudbeckia Hirta]

While they don't have that many good options for office clothes (in my opinion), you might find success at The Gap. They seem to have recently moved to a policy of XTreme Vanity Sizing. The size I wear at The Gap is about three sizes smaller than the size I wear everywhere else.

[Tenured Radical]

And yet the vast spaces devoted to "petites" are a regular feature of these stores.

My niece once told me that she and her girlfriend were more or less told to leave the Gap because the sales person told them, unasked, that there were no clothes for "people like you."

[Dr. Moonbeam]

Now me, I LIKE elastic waistbands; the floppy linen pants I wear all the time have elastic waists and pockets. Granted, I sew these for myself and I don't actually know what size they would be in a store (patterns have a whole different sizing scheme) but I will admit that my jeans are 14s these days - no elastic on those though. Hurrah for Land's End which has jeans whose waists actually sit at the waist rather than falling off the ass.

[Sisyphus]

Yes! And can I just jump in here and be peeved at even very large bra sections at the department store ---- they might have seventy bajillion brands and styles, but maybe *two* bras in the whole store that are my exact cub and band size. If I could try on a bunch of *different* brands and styles I could order more of the size that fits online --- but as it is I just have to grab the two options that "fit" regardless of whether they fit nice or are a look that I like.

And a shout out to a fellow apple! Woot!

[Leslie M-B]

Amen!

I know average-sized women who have been told at the door of Victoria's Secret that there weren't underthings in their size in the store. Niiiiice.

I hover between a size 12 and 14, depending on the brand and time of year, so I'm right on the bubble there for the plus sizes, which I've noticed more and more stores are calling "Woman"--as in Macy's Woman. There's something about that term that makes my skin crawl--as if the "normal" sizes are "girlish" and girlhood is to be preferred to womanhood.

Worse, I've seen several department stores place their "Woman" sections across from their petite sections, further highlighting the ridiculously huge divide in fashion choices between size 12P and size 16.

[rented life]

Short people struggle with this too. You see all these pretty things, move back to the "petites" and most of the stuff isn't there. And when you're short enough that you'd have to remove half a foot from pants, etc, buying "normal" is a waste and a pain. (Being "bigger" and short puts me in a tougher spot even.)

[wini]

I actually had a problem getting help in the "Women" section of a store. I'm pear shaped and needed something bigger than a size 16 on the bottom. However, I can still sometimes wear size 8-10 on top. She just told me to go to the other section.

But, getting waist bands tailored on pants you will wear a lot is totally worth it. Take out the elastic, get some buttons put in.

[New Kid on the Hallway]

Yes, being petite isn't much better! (It always seems to me that there are more small sizes left at e.g. outlets, but that's not the same as petite).

Dr. M, I don't mind elastic waistbands on garments where they're appropriate. I just hate when manufacturers take tailored, office-style garments (like a wool or triacetate pencil skirt) and make it "plus" by sticking in a couple of elastic inserts in an otherwise very tailored garment.

(Sisyphus, I had to laugh when you posted about dresses recently, because we have the EXACT same shape. I might be scaled a bit bigger than you over all, but the proportions are totally the same!)

Anyway, I guess the shorter version of this post is: sellers of women's clothes suck.

[Carl]

I can only sympathize vicariously via my fat-girl wife; but I thought given the topic you all might enjoy her current art installation, playing ironically on the obesity panic by casting herself as an endangered species of animal, the North American Obeast. Coverage at Jezebel.

[butterflyfish]

I need petite length pants and though I was a size 20/22 I now hover between a 14 and 16 (my goal is to get to 12/14 in a few weeks).

So yeah, I concur with all of the above, on plus size and petite, because being BOTH on the bottom fucking sucks.

[Rev Dr Mom]

Totally agree on all counts. And when you go to the "Women's" section at Macy's it is usually a mess and the styles are atrocious. Insulting. And isn't it ironic in a culture where people in general are larger than they used to be?

[Anthea]

Oh...I suffer from being petite and apparantly having legs that were 'too short' according to various sales people. About 10 years ago I became so annoyed that I started to make my own clothes since I got tired of spending time trying on clothes that didn't fit me properly or cost far too much than was really worth it. Now, my problem is finding the time to make the clothes that I'd need/like...grrr

[Notorious Ph.D.]

Oooh. I'm with Sisyphus on the bras, too: I'm average-sized in general, but rather largish in the boobular area, and boy -- why do bra options in my size need to be so few... and generally so ugly? Seriously, every time I contemplate bra cups with as much fabric as clipper-ship sails, I get the urge not to ever buy anything in that store, ever.

[Kathleen Fasanella]

Consider this the obligatory blah blah blah comment since nobody else posted it.

We talk an awful lot about plus sizes on my site (for apparel manufacturers). It's a challenging market and many would like to serve the market better both with respect to sizing and styling. It's really hard to start a line and break into the big box stores. To do that, you basically have to produce off shore (long story, I'd leave the links but then this would be entirely too spammy) and then risk criticism for using "sweatshop labor" (ibid) so one way or another, you get skewered by consumers.

I encourage consumers to either try shopping in more boutiques and independent stores or to yes, shop online because a lot of the independent plus size brands can't afford a retail presence.

PS. Clicking on my name will take you to an entry that explains why existing manufacturers are reluctant to add a plus sized line.

[Janice]

I can't find button-up shirts that fit me at all properly. I could sew them myself but that's a colossal investment of time to prepare a properly tailored blouse. Skirts and pants are hit and miss, too: my hips and waist are not in conventional proportion and my back-waist measurements are screwy.

This explains why I hate clothes shopping. Except I don't mind shopping at Coldwater Creek quite so much since they cut in ways that work with my body. Pity they don't have stores around here, though!

[New Kid on the Hallway]

Kathleen - I get your point about the costs of adding a plus line of clothes (or any new line). But I was actually (primarily) talking about manufacturers who ALREADY manufacture clothing in my size, because they sell that size online. They just don't offer them in the stores. So I'm not sure how the cost of introducing a new line is relevant to that phenomenon. (If the answer is: stores make more money selling "straight" sizes, that seems like a chicken/egg thing - plus-sized people aren't going to come into your stores if you've never indicated any interest in serving them.)

The cost of adding plus lines also has nothing to do with how department stores market the plus clothing they do carry in the store, which was one of the other things I mentioned. While yes, I do wish there were more plus lines generally, that's not really the issue I was addressing here.

[New Kid on the Hallway]

I'm also going to possibly stir the pot by throwing something else out here: petite people, when you can't find anything except stuff that's 6 inches too long for you, do you feel ashamed for being short? Or just annoyed? When I can't find a bra I like, for instance, I'm annoyed, but not ashamed (I wear a VERY "normal" bra size). But when I can't find clothes that fit because I'm too fat, my primary feeling isn't annoyance, but shame. Am just trying to tease this out a bit, because part of me wants to distinguish difficulty finding clothes because of petiteness from the same because of fatness, but I also recognize that could just be my own prejudices (am trying to figure out what is me feeling sour grapes and what is legitimate analysis. And since I can't get into the mindset of a petite person, thought I'd throw it out there.)

[Z]

On the shortness, not ashamed but yes abnormal. I've lived in countries where my height is normal. Finding clothes is much easier and yes, that raises self esteem.

[wini]

When I went to the plus sized section of the store to find pants, I had gotten past shame and into acceptance (maybe sad acceptance since it was my first time). It was also hard when she sized me up and told me to go back to the normal area where I had just failed to find nice pants that fit. What I ended up doing was getting a bunch of vanity sized polyester pants. In my mind I had imagined that if I gain anymore weight that this would become normal somehow and less shameful?

As someone with very short legs and a generous tush, I've never thought twice about getting pants hemmed. I mean, I hate spending the money on it, but it's not super expensive. (Plus, I really should know how to sew better.) Banana Republic will hem full price clothes for free!

[wini]

Oh, shoot, one more thing. My husband's pant size is 28 inch waist and 29 inch legs. He has to buy *everything* online. It is very annoying, yes, but in a "my local Starbucks is closed for renovations" kind of way.

[joy]

@New Kid--I am a short woman, and I feel annoyed, but not ashamed.

@Tenured Radical--pray tell where I might find vast spaces devoted to petites. I would be thrilled to know. I don't doubt that it is easier to find nice petite clothing (especially of the tailored/office variety) than it is to find nice plus-size clothing, but I have never been in a store where there were vast options for petites.

@Leslie M-B--oh, god yes. I cannot STAND stores that call their plus line "woman". The implications are totally creepy.

[thefrogprincess]

Oh, I hate this as well. The worst experience I ever had shopping was walking into Victoria's Secret, thinking I was going to treat myself to a decent bra, having them do the measurement so I'd be accurate, and then having to deal with the awkward moment in which the sales woman didn't really want to tell me that my breasts were too big for their merchandise. I was infuriated--at the humiliation, at the ludicrous idea that somehow I was too big (and too ugly) for Victoria's Secret, whose purpose I thought was to sell bras to all.

The other issue I have with the moving of plus-size merchandise online is practical. Fit becomes even more important the larger you are. Does the top part of an empire-waist dress cover the entirety of your chest or are you left with a seam across your boobs? Where is fabric clinging? Does that dart really work there? Is there gaping in a button-down shirt? Do those pants create a muffin top? This is information I want to have before I purchase, not after.

[Meg]

Oh shopping when you're bigger than most is a nightmare. It's hard to find something that you like and will fit you at the same time!

[rented life]

I don't feel ashamed that I'm short, but that's after overcoming years of straight out harrassment from "friends" family and colleagues about my height. It's hard because many people do not take me seriously, but if I was 5'6" they would. I am often told that I've been mistaken for a kid, despite being MUCH older, clearer not dressed childlike, and a co-worker of the offensive person. I used to be ashamed, like I'd be better if I was taller. Now I just think others are jerks for finding that they need to bring that up over anything else. My mom has gone through the same thing--being treated less than for being shorter.

[b(oston)s(cholar)]

Amen, amen, amen. I don't even wear pants any more. Even in Boston. Even in January. I'm accused of being ridiculously girly, but all that polyester, the strangely conceived waistbands and pockets, rumply seaming, and flimsy roll-hugging material to be found in the plus-size departments... and insult to injury, usually overpriced, never to be found on sale in my actual size.

Besides, walking through the snow in a skirt puts hair on your chest.

[New Kid on the Hallway]

I'm glad I'm not the only person who has these troubles! (Even though I totally wish none of us had these troubles.)

rented life, people who don't take you seriously because you're short ARE jerks! I remember in high school in particular two very petite blond women I worked with in the local supermarket, who got patted on the head a lot (or the equivalent thereof) because everyone said "they look so young!" That would be annoying.

b(oston)s(cholar), I agree - I love skirts (and I find that skirts + tights + tall boots is just as warm as pants). They're so much easier to fit - I never have to worry about the length of the rise in skirts! My only beef is with most non-plus-sized pencil skirts, which, even if they fit me, hug my gut ever so ungently and unflatteringly. (Just got a plus-sized pencil skirt from Talbots that is actually cut to FIT my gut! Alas, it has the damn elastic insets. But since I never wear anything tucked in unless there's something over it, I guess I can survive.)

[arguablyambitious]

late to the party-

I love LL Bean Pants. I'm just under 5'4 and wear between 12/14 and the 14 regulars are perfect. I am house-wifing it currently, so i have no freaking clue where I will buy dress clothes. So far everything I have tried on looks terrible. For bras, I like Lane Bryant. I can get 36" band sizes with bigger cups for my knockers and they aren't matronly!!!

[Eli Rabett]

Ever wonder why everyone is cranky? Walk around all day in the "normal" sized shoes rather than ones that fit. Eli and Ms. Rabett are the Spratts, his feet are too fat and hers too short.

[Writingonthemargins.wordpress.com]

I am really late in responding to this, but boy can I empathize. Over the past 18 months, I've lost 60-odd pounds. At my biggest, I used to wear a 20 or 22w; now I wear anything from a 12 to a 16, depending on the manufacturer, the cut, material, etc.

Trying to find clothes that are attractive and flattering absolutely sucks for larger women. I actually got into a bit of a tiff about this with someone on FB, who kept going on about how the clothing choices for "big girls" are just great these days. I don't know what she considered big, but when I was a size 18 and above, my choices absolutely sucked. They are better now, but even so, they are still limited in comparison to those who wear sizes smaller than 10. I know, because I used to be that small.

And bras? Fuggedaboutit. I have always been very well-endowed, even when I was a tiny little thing, and trying to find bras has been a nightmare since I was about 14. Retailers seem to think that women with my cup size can't possibly have a band number below 38. In high school, I wore a 32 or 34; now I wear a 34 or a 36. I can only find my band size online. I'm grateful I can at least find it, but it is such a hassle when I really need to be able to try on these garments, since there is so much disparity among manufacturers when it comes to sizing.

Sorry to go off like this, but God, I so feel your pain.

[dkzody]

Talbots. Great store, great clothes. They fit. If you order from the catalog, you can return to a store. If they don't have it in the store, they will order it for you from the catalog. You can't lose.