New Kid on the Hallway

How did it come to be my last semester of law school?

So, I recently submitted my registration for my LAST SEMESTER OF LAW SCHOOL. 

Registration presents the eternal dilemma for me: do I take what I want to take, or do I take what I "should" take - in other words, all the "hard," "serious" courses that are on the Bar? It would make life easier, I think, if I wanted to be a corporate lawyer or a criminal lawyer, but strangely enough, the Bar doesn't seem to be organized for your generic non-criminal-law bleeding-heart research geek. To illustrate, I found a list of topics that are supposed to be tested on the Bar (some are national topics, some are specific to my state). Here's what they are and what I've actually taken relevant to the topics:

• Tested: Contracts
  I've taken: the 1L class. Employment law reviewed some elements of contracts, but I'm kind of screwed on this one, I think!
• Tested: Real Property
  I've taken: the 1L class. I did really well in this class, actually, and had an awesome prof, so maybe that will help?? 
• Tested: Criminal Law
  I've taken: the 1L class. And a course on computer crime (yeah, not so relevant). Didn't do brilliantly in either.
• Tested: Criminal Procedure
  I've taken: nothing, except that I did a ton of 4th Amendment stuff for various reasons last year. 
• Tested: Torts
  I've taken: the 1L class. Am actually planning to take Advanced Torts, too
• Tested: Evidence
  I've taken: Evidence (taking it this semester). Semi-okay on this, assuming I can pass the damn class.
• Tested: Constitutional Law
  I've taken: This is my saving grace! I am ALL ABOUT the Con Law - have taken Con Law, Advanced Con Law, and Education Law, which does a lot of Con Law; my note was on Con Law; and I took a course on Higher Ed and the Law, which had a lot of Con Law
• Tested: Business Associations (including Agency, Partnership, and Corporations)
  I've taken: yeah, not so much. None of these, and while I would take Agency this semester, it's at 8 IN THE FRICKING MORNING. Which is VERY hard for me, given that I commute from another city. It may sound wussy, but getting to school for an 8 am class really fucks up my whole day. (This isn't just hypothetical - I have class at 8 am 3x a week this semester. It is AWFUL. Seriously.)
• Tested: Civil Procedure
  I've taken: the 1L class. My weakest subject, with a really awful professor. Am considering taking Complex Civil Lit to make up for it, but... I don't really want to, because it conflicts with Law and Religion (which I'd really rather take, even though it's unlikely anyone will ever hire me to practice law and religion!), and because I worry I might fail it given how little I learned in 1L!
• Tested: Secured Transactions, Sales, and Negotiable Instruments
  I've taken: Nothing. I'm not even sure what these things ARE. Totally screwed here.
• Tested: Family Law
  I've taken: Nada. I would think about taking this, but the much beloved prof who teaches it isn't teaching it next semester. And I don't want to practice family law. And my clinic has involved some juvenile law. And I really don't want to sit through what friends of mine described ensuing in class when, for instance, custody issues came up (e.g. 5 of the 6 men in class arguing with the rest of the class that judges are biased against fathers - ugh!).    
• Tested: Public Law (including Constitutional Law and Administrative Law)
  I've taken: relevant stuff, yay! I have taken Admin Law on top of all my Con Law. I also think Local Government addresses some of this.
• Tested: Wills
  I've taken: um, what? no.
• Tested: Estates & Trusts
  I've taken: nothing (we teach this combined with Wills, actually. Have also heard it's easy to teach yourself this stuff? Here's hoping that's right...)
• Tested: Professional Responsibility
  I've taken: Ethics, and did really well (somehow). Haven't taken the MPRE yet, but will do so in March - so it will be nice and fresh in my mind, right? 

So. This semester, if I were really serious about this Bar thing, I COULD take the following useful subjects:

    Agency
    Family Law
    Wills and Trusts
    Crim Pro (Adjudicative Phase) [we have 2 semesters of Crim Pro - the other is the Investigative Phase]

I seriously think that's it - we don't have anything REMOTELY related to Sales/Secured Transactions/Negotiable whatevers being offered next semester. And the thing is? I don't want to take any of those! Well, I'd seriously consider Crim Pro, but it's at the same time as Immigration Law, which I REALLY want to take. Even though, yeah, NOT ON THE BAR. And I'd seriously consider Agency except, of course, for the 8 am thing.

So, I am going to rely on what the vast majority of my profs have said: take what you want - BarBri will prepare you for everything else. (Granted, these are profs teaching the mostly non-bar courses. Some of the bar course profs say, TAKE BAR COURSES! So I guess we have to take both of these perspectives with a grain of salt.)

But even if you put aside what profs say, a lot of people at my school focus either on environmental/natural resource law, or tech/IP stuff. Like, a LOT of people. And neither of those areas seem to show up on the Bar in any significant form. And my school has a 93-4% pass rate. So I'm going to take that as evidence that if you take bar prep seriously, and study your ass off in BarBri, it is entirely possible to pass without taking all the Bar courses.

Right? Right?

The most wonderful time of the year

Finals, that is.

(I'm being sarcastic.)

The other night, I dreamed I was taking the final for one of my classes this semester. I was surrounded by friends of mine from school (who aren't actually in the class), who were all zipping through the exam, talking about how easy it was. (For some reason we were all hanging out taking it in the law school cafeteria, not in our classroom.) It was like a college exam - questions typed on plain white paper, with spaces for you to handwrite your answers. And I couldn't answer ANYTHING. I had NO IDEA what the questions meant, at ALL. (When I woke up, I realized this is because the questions made no sense. But in the dream I didn't figure that out.)

So, about halfway through my panic, I realized I could use my outline, so I opened it up and started throwing anything I could think of onto the page. 

When the time ended, I handed the exam to my prof, and told him I was sorry about how much I had tanked the exam.

The next thing, I was in my prof's office, and he was telling me that the answers I'd given were actually very good, and that he would give me extra time to fill in the questions I'd left blank. (In case it's unclear: this would never happen in real life!)

I was trying to figure out how to tell him that extra time wouldn't help, because I had no idea how to answer any of the things I'd left blank.

And then, somehow, NLLDH was there. And he took out a framed picture and slapped it on the desk in front of me.

It was a picture of (dearly departed) Youngest Cat. He was sitting with his front paw curled into his chest, the way cats do, with the biggest smuggest kitty smile on his face.

See, the thing is, in our marital mythology, Youngest Cat represents stubbornness, and perseverance, and the epitome of self-confidence. Let's just say that Youngest Cat didn't have any self-esteem issues. (In fact, Youngest Cat was basically a thug who did exactly what he wanted regardless of what anyone else thought.) And so I knew that NLLDH was telling me to be like Youngest Cat, to know that I could do this, and not let any doubt get in the way.

So it was actually kind of nice. But I could have lived without the anxiety dream-lead up to the pep talk. 

The last vestiges of my professor-ness are falling away as I type

So, panicking about how very, very, very far I am from done on the paper draft I have due tomorrow, I finally sat down and counted up how many words I'd written (I'm using Scrivener to draft, so I write it bits rather than in one long scrolling document, so had no idea how much I'd written). 

Turns out, I have something like 8000 words.

(My prof hasn't given us so much as a rough guideline for what zie wants, length-wise, but usually seminar papers here run from 25-30 pages. If we look to what the prof assigns for reading, we might think zie wants something of monstrous length; but knowing this prof, I think zie'd be happier with a tiny polished gem of insight than flabby summary of the expected length. I should mention that my 8000 words are VERY flabby.*)

What's really funny is how student-y I'm being about this. The draft is currently pretty awful (lots of history and set up, not nearly enough law). It needs a LOT of work. But - BUT! - I have, technically, enough words! And while I know - believe me, I really do know - that it's not about having enough words, but about having the right words, right now?

I. really. don't. care.

I mean, I do, in the grand scheme of things, care about making this a good paper. But there's no way that I'm going to rectify all the problems with this thing by tomorrow. (The major issue: there's a chunk of primary research I still need to do, which won't be hard, and which I can do before the end of the semester; I just can't do it tonight.) And somehow, if I'm going to turn in something incomplete, it makes me feel better to submit something where what's written meets the length requirements (which I've completely made up in my head), rather than something that doesn't meet the length requirements. Even though I'm sure my prof would prefer something under the length requirements but good, rather than great lengths of awfulness.

This feels really student-y, to me, because it's become all about fulfilling the requirements. I even chose to do this paper (we have an exam option), because I like writing (really! I do!) and because liking writing and being (reasonably) good at it is an important part of my identity. And yet when it comes down to it, right now, it's not about producing a competent and interesting piece of work, for the work's sake. It's about fulfilling the damn requirements so I can submit this to my professor and move on to the next goddamn thing. It's not about actually writing something good, exercising independent analysis, and being true to the idea that's in the paper; it's about getting words on a page, because I'm obligated to do so--and I didn't really choose that obligation. I chose it in the short term, but it was a choice between different kinds of obligations, imposed upon me by this outside force (the law school), for which force I have to do stuff, and which I have to ask to pretty please find me acceptable and pass me along.

And that is what I dislike about being a student. (I can remember having a different attitude to writing and research as a professor; but I can't recapture that perspective, from where I currently sit.)

*You know that James Lipton meme, that asks about your favorite word and favorite curse word and what you want God to say at the pearly gates and so on? It asks for your least favorite word; I think mine just might be flabby. It's kind of a great word - really evocative and striking - but yet an awful one at the same time.

Let's talk hygiene. Hey, the New York Times did!

So, many of you probably saw the recent New York Times article about people not showering so much these days and so on. (It's here, if you're a law student like me, who's been barely able to keep up with the elections, much less read about how often rich people profiled in the Gray Lady shower.) One of the blogs I follow had found a kind of meme about the practice of cleansing less, going natural, all that jazz. It seemed kind of interesting, and I really want a break from the paper I'm madly skimming stuff for and culling quotes to riff off of writing, so I'm stealing it:

1. The move to do away with soap, shampoo and deodorant has been growing in popularity in the last year. What are your thoughts on this trend? 

So, my feeling is, more power to whoever wants to get rid of these things. There are ton of horrible chemicals that go into creating a lot of this stuff, and the comments in the article that Americans are getting less dirty than ever before but cleansing more than they ever did make sense to me. It also makes sense that skin (and hair) is actually designed to be self-maintaining and healthy without the application of all kinds of petrochemicals and what not. I suspect that a lot of people just don't get particularly stinky unless they've been working out like a fiend and not washing for days (NLLDH, for instance, really just doesn't smell, even after he's run 20 miles).

I'll add, though, that we are a fairly nature-intolerant society these days, and that those people who do get kind of stinky (their skin/bacteria just goes there) may have a hard time ditching the usual cleansers and so on. I'm not sure that anyone is going to change modern Americans' desire not to have to deal with personal smells by, well, being smelly. 

So I'm not shocked or horrified at all by people foregoing the daily shower, soap, shampoo, etc. But I suspect it works better for some people than for others.

2. Be honest how often do you wash your own hair?

I am a daily washer - when I hit adolescence, I went through a REALLY greasy hair phase, and I've washed it daily every since as a kind of reaction. I do realize that by washing it every day, and stripping it of its good oils, it's probably pumping more oil out in reaction, and that therefore I create my own problem. But if I go without washing, by the end of the second day it gets greasy and I really don't like the way it smells. I think I could deal with that, except that I tend to get hot and sweat some when I sleep. Plus, my hair is usually somewhat layered, and I usually wear some kind of product in it. Put these things together, and you get some really crazy bedhead in the morning. So I'm going to have to at the least wet my hair in the morning, and doing that without washing makes it kind of clumpy and heavy and hard to style.

(Sometimes I skip washing on Sundays, though, when I'm not planning to leave the apartment.)

3. Have you tried to go the more natural route by forgoing shampoo? What happened? Or would you be tempted to try it?

If I had a month or so in which I really truly didn't have to leave the house, I might try going without shampooing - that might be enough time for my scalp to adjust and I could see how it would turn out. BUT! I have sort of moved in this direction in that I don't use commercial shampoo anymore - I've been using shampoo bars (from here and here - or, in a pinch, soap I've made myself from scratch). Shampoo bars are basically cold-process soap (which is some selection of oils turned into soap from being mixed with water and lye. ALL hard bar soaps that are not glycerine-based have gone through this process; the lye converts the oil into soap, and none of it is left at the end of the process. You can adjust the qualities of the soap depending on what oils you use), usually with a good dose of castor oil, because it creates a wonderful lather and is a humectant, i.e. draws in moisture.

The nice thing about shampoo bars is that the materials are totally natural - oil, water or other liquid of choice, lye (again, that goes away), and whatever additives you'd like to include (honey? goat's milk? coconut milk? tea tree oil? go for it!). I hadn't noticed till I started using these that regular shampoo had made my scalp kind of dry and tight and itchy, because when I started using these, my scalp felt better. (No more industrial strength detergent getting used on it!) The bars lather like mad and give my hair a lot of strength and softness.

Shampoo bars take a little getting used to. Some people get "funky hair" for a week or so, because their scalp is still pumping out lots of oil, intending to compensate for being stripped by the detergents in modern shampoo. Other people with really hard water find shampoo bars don't work well. I found that using the bars made the texture of my hair feel different - for me, it got thicker and stronger, but they might be a bit difficult if you have very fine and/or very easily tangled hair. On their own, the bars do make your hair feel a bit sticky and tangled while you're in the shower. Your hair (probably) isn't actually tangled at all, but you're missing the usual silicones in modern conditioners that give your hair "slip." You don't really need conditioner, and can get out of the shower and carefully comb through your hair with a wide tooth comb, and when it's dry it will feel perfectly soft and healthy. (It might not have the kind of glassy shine that silicones can give, though.)

My solution to the conditioner dilemma is to do a vinegar rinse after I shampoo - mix 1 part apple cider vinegar (or white vinegar if you prefer) with 5-8 parts water (I use an old conditioner bottle); you will probably have to experiment to figure out what proportion works for you (but straight vinegar will probably be too much). If you squirt this through your hair, it closes the cuticle, and while it doesn't duplicate the slippy-ness of modern conditioner, it sort of de-sticks your hair, letting you get your hands through the it to work out any tangles. Some people leave the vinegar in, but I rinse it out.

I'll admit that apple cider vinegar is not the world's most glamorous scent. That said, about 99% of the vinegar smell dissipates after you rinse and dry your hair (I only really smell it if I get hot and sweaty for whatever reason, and even then only just a little). I have started experimenting with adding a wee bit of perfume oil to my mix, and that seems to be doing wonders for masking the vinegar scent. (Let me emphasize that these are perfume oils, NOT alcohol-based perfume/cologne/eau de toilette! You have to shake up the mixture each time, like with a salad dressing, because oil and vinegar don't mix, but it's not burdensome.) Essential oils would doubtless work too (but be careful about how much you add, because pure essential oils can irritate the skin, depending which ones you're using and how much you use).

4. What products do you use and have you ever gone with more organic alternatives?

Okay, I just went through the hair thing. For body, I use handmade soaps (they're not usually organic, and some of them are scented with perfume oils, which are artificial, rather than essential oils, which are natural), mostly because I've found some I LOVE the scents of (like most of the soaps here). I also use body scrubs sometimes (like these), which aren't usually 100% natural (or organic), but usually have a bunch of good ingredients in them. I use Kiss My Face shaving lotion, which is an, um, peculiar texture, but is pretty good and natural stuff, AND is the most effective shaving cream I've ever used. (Which is really what it boils down to, for me; I try to think about the chemicals and the environment and so on, but if the environmentally friendly stuff just isn't as GOOD as the evil stuff, I tend to go with the evil stuff. For instance, my acne cream is about as loaded with unnatural chemicals as you can get. And I have yet to find an eco-friendly/recycled toilet paper that I actually LIKE.) And I use a LOT of body lotion, now that I live in the middle of the desert; I try to keep that pretty natural, too, mostly because the standard drugstore ingredients tend to give me a rash. (These and these are GREAT.)

I realize that reads a bit like a big informercial. I do try to go with organic or otherwise natural stuff, but it's always a balancing act, trying to find something that works well for my skin, is natural (or at least the least evil possible), and doesn't break the bank.

Sometimes I oil-cleanse, which is about as natural as it gets - just rub my face with jojoba oil, and use a hot washcloth to steam it off. You can get the jojoba oil organic if you want, so you know exactly what's going on your skin. (You can use oils other than jojoba too, of course.) It does a great job of getting grease out of your pores. The downside is that it's a bit harder work, since of course the oil isn't water soluble, so it's a bit of hot water and effort to get it rinsed away.

5. What about that daily shower? Would you forgo that opting to shower three times a week instead?

No. I'm so used to showering daily now that not doing so makes me feel really grungy. I'm really not awake in the morning until I've had my shower - the day doesn't really begin till then. Plus, I am just NOT a morning person, and am pretty much always miserable that I have to get out of bed, even on the weekends. A nice comfy shower with yummy-smelling products is my reward for getting out of bed and helps send me on my way.

Like I said, no judgment on people who shower less often. I probably SHOULD shower less often. But I have no plans to change this.

Okay, so that's way more than you ever wanted to know about my showering etc. habits. What about you? Is there anything you've done to de-chemical-fy your routine? Do you cut showers?

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! [sh]e chortled in [her] joy*

My day was made frabjous by a professor canceling my afternoon class. For which I hadn't done the reading yet. And he pushed the reading back to next week. Calooh! Callay! That was my only campus obligation after 9 am, so I'm back in my home city already, earlier than I have been in WEEKS. 

I'm not sure if I'll actually gain any work time in the end, since I'm procrastinating like mad, but eh, at least it's a nice little mental break.

And in mostly unrelated commentary, I just have to point out that for years I baffled NLLDH by quoting the title of this post, until we figured out that he had NEVER READ ALICE IN WONDERLAND. I mean, really?? And the more we explored this, the more we realized he never read most of what were my childhood classics. For instance, he has never so much as cracked any of the Little House series. (Heresy!) Okay, maybe those are too "girly." Whatever. Anyway, we never came up with any major classic he'd read as a child that I hadn't, so I won that cultural competition. (This happens only rarely.)

What about you? Are there major childhood classics that everyone else but you seems to have read? I'm sure you people can come up with lots that I haven't read, to make NLLDH feel better.

 

*And yes, I did indicate the alterations in this quote according to Bluebook rules, outing myself as a genuine law review nerd.

Yet another incredibly gorgeous day lost forever when I didn't set foot outside the law school all day long

Well, having a woman speaker of the House was nice while it lasted...

Locally, things could be worse. The truly ridiculous dumb-ass ballot initiatives seeking to cut taxes by starving the state of, well, EVERYTHING went down in flames. So did the latest attempt at a "personhood" amendment. (As well as the proposal that my city create an "extraterrestrial commission." Yes, that kind of extraterrestrial.) The good judges got retained and the bad judges didn't (and they were BAD judges). And we got the good guy governor (who wouldn't do negative ads) by a landslide.

So I'm just going to focus on the positive.

* * * * *

Thanks for the (totally coerced) good wishes on my motions! Neither was remotely brilliant - yesterday I was more nervous and made the rookie mistake of going way too fast, and it was weird because I felt like my motion was way too short but I really didn't know what was missing, so it was hard to know how to pace it; before I felt like I got into it, I was done. Today, I think I spoke quite well, but I spent too much time figuring out what to ask on direct and didn't nail the law as hard as I should have, and I totally underestimated what I needed to do to lay the foundation for my evidence. (I suck at foundations - I assume that if I can see a connection between the statement and the rule, everyone else will, too.) Although I enjoyed today's motion way more. (I really want to take this prof's Advanced Trial Techniques class last semester, but I've taken too many skills classes for it to count for my degree. I don't have a ton of credits to take next semester, but am not sure I can afford to throw in 2 more that won't count. On top of an internship I won't get credit for either, for the same reason.)

So, neither was a triumph, but I don't think either was an embarrassment. So I'll take it.

Now on to the next thing...