Job stuff

Before I went to bed last night, I thought, "Gosh, it would be nice to have a fun, cool, exciting dream tonight."

And what did I dream?

That I had a clerkship interview somewhere in the middle of Pennsylvania and that I was running through this random town in the pouring rain, twenty minutes late.

So much for fun and excitement.

It's kind of ironic, actually, because my clerkship application process ended a while ago: I'm going to clerk for a state appellate court next year. I lined this up before federal clerkships even opened up this year, so have no idea how I would have done on the federal market, but am actually really glad - first, I don't have to move, and second, the federal clerkship market seems to have gone completely to hell these days. I've seen a number of folks around the web suggesting that judges are more and more inclined to hire people who already have legal experience - partly as a way to get around the hiring plan, probably partly because the implosion of big law led to a lot of highly-credentialed people getting laid off and threw off a lot of the traditional application patterns. 

Whatever the case, I only know of two people from my school who landed federal clerkships (not on the hiring plan), and I know of many really really REALLY highly-ranked students who didn't get any calls at all. Maybe that's not all that out of line, given the school I attend; I'm not sure. I just know that the vibe around campus is that people who should have got at least a couple of interviews got nothing. 

So, yeah, I'm relieved to be done with applications for the year. Definitely.

Anyway, this gig came up earlier than I'd expected, and I'd already asked my letter-writers for a whole swack of letters to send hither and yon to federal judges across the country. So by the time I got the job, I had literally stacks of letters of recommendation ready for me, and I shoved them in a cubby with the rest of my clerkship application stuff and forgot about them. Cleaning up clutter this afternoon, I decided I could throw all that stuff out.

So I threw out letters of recommendation from all three letter writers. It's funny, because part of me wanted to open them and see what the authors had written. But the bigger part of me really DIDN'T want to. 

Because I didn't want to be disappointed in what they'd said about me. 

Thing is, I have no reason to think they wrote anything bad about me (I'm sure they wouldn't have agreed to write for me if they didn't have anything good to say). I just like thinking they said AMAZING things about me, and don't want that illusion shattered.

Ah, ego...

Comments

[PhilosopherP]

Excellent news!! YEA for not moving.. I'd hate for you and NLDH to become LDH again...

Hubby's at a top 20ish law school and hearing the same stuff as you about the federal level. Lack of call backs etc..

[undine]

Congrats on the clerkship!

[What Now?]

Oh, congrats on the job -- that's great news!

[Susan]

Congratulations on the job! That's great!

[helenesch]

Congrats! That's really wonderful news (and it's great, too, that you don't have to move).

[comebacknikki]

Congrats on the job! :)

[joy]

yay! I'm so glad you're successfully done with your clerkship application process, especially since you were so keen to clerk. That's terrific!

The professors know what the stakes are for clerkship apps. Unless they're real jerks (and you wouldn't have approached them if they were), they wouldn't have agreed to write letters unless they were going to GLOW, so you can be pretty sure that those letters said amazing things about you. I actually wish I had a few letters of rec on hand that I could refer to in moments of gloom and self-doubt.

[New Kid on the Hallway]

Thanks, everyone! :-)

PhilosopherP, that's interesting, to hear that Hubby's school is having the same experience. Makes me feel a bit better (or at least, like we're not particular pariahs over here in my school!).

joy, I know what you mean about having letters cheer you up - I would just have to have someone vet the letter first to ensure there was nothing weird in it that would depress me! (I hate reading stuff about myself. I think also it's because I feel weird enough by virtue of my non-traditional-ness that I'm not sure whether the letter would be different than for traditional students, or what - I remember reading my letters of rec to get into grad school the first time round was pretty nice, so I don't know why I think these would be different. I overthink this stuff, obviously!)

I do still have one copy of one letter, because one prof sent me his via e-mail, "for ease of use in the future." Which is nice and all, but really, who's going to want the letter directly from me, unless in a signed/sealed envelope and all? I can't bring myself to delete the letter, but I can't bring myself to read it, either... maybe someday in the future when I'm feeling brave! (Or I'll make NLLDH read it and tell me if I'd like reading it or not. Heh.)

[twitter.com/drnels]

Congrats! You and my husband now have the same job (different states). He's been doing it over twenty years. Sometimes, it bugs him when colleagues went into private firms and are making more than three times what he is when he graduated so high, but he loves the job and the judge.