The generosity of finding time to tell other people you think they're idiots

Awww, I had a widdle troll!

I concluded my last post by saying that I would try to write something more interesting/positive soon, and "shelly" took the time and care to write in and say, "Why start now?"

Bless her little heart. Doesn’t it give you all a warm feeling to know that someone who clearly thinks I’m a boring whiner actually takes the time to read my boring whines so she can inform me of the error of my ways? Where would the internet be without people willing to read things they don’t enjoy that clearly don’t enlighten them in any way? How else would we know that we offend them? Society would grind to a halt!

(In the interests of full disclosure, I do actually read a couple of blogs that irritate me. I’m not talking about anything as concrete as having political conflicts/differences; I just find these people annoying. Don’t worry, they’re not any of you; if I’ve ever left a comment on your blog, it’s not you. Because I have a rule that I am NOT allowed to comment on these [very few] blogs. What would be the point of commenting on opinions that are perfectly valid other than the fact that I don't share them? I read these blogs periodically because I find it useful, sometimes, to be reminded that other people see the world in very different ways than I do, and that they still have friends and supporters and so on. But it’s not like there’s any point telling these people what I think of them. Do any of the rest of you do this? Or am I just a glutton for punishment?)

Comments

[Paige]

Oh, what an idiot. I happen to think we're healthier when it's possible to talk and write about negative things; in fact, I wish that more people who accomplish a lot would talk more about their struggles.

[Another Damned Medievalist]

Seriously. See: life, get a.

[Missy :)]

That IS so kind of her! Seems like she puts a lot of thought into her work, too.

I don't understand it either. Personally, I *try* to stick to the "thumper theory." If I can't say anything nice, then I try not to say anything at all. Much easier online than in real life, though.

I guess that's why their lack of restraint (and obviously, home training) never fails to amaze me. They have time to think about it before they choose to click "Post." Most likely, a 12 year old.

Oops - that wasn't very nice! I think my mom would forgive me though, 'cause at least there was some substance to my negativity.

But just in case, I'd like to say that shelly's mom would probably be VERY proud that she spelled it all correctly and used the proper capitalization and punction.

There, that feels nicer! All back to normal.

...On a side note, I love becoming friends with likeminded people who also seem to enjoy blogging. This was a great post, made me giggle. And you have a fabulous blog from what I've seen so far.

My blog is at http://soulfabric.blogspot.com/, just in case you'd like to stop by.

Peace,
Missy :)

[Wolfa]

It sounded like it was sarcasm, or at least it would have been perfectly fine coming from a regular reader, no?

[New Kid on the Hallway]

Wolfa - oh, sure, if it were a commenter I knew and it was sarcasm, no problem.

And in fact, shelly, if you're reading, and you intended sarcasm, I apologize for my post.

But it's hard to read it as sarcasm when it's a commenter I've never seen before (according to e-mail/ISP, it's not a fellow blogger who's gone by shelly/shellie before). And I'll admit that I tend to overdose on the emoticons when I'm being sarcastic, just to make sure all is clear, though I should remember not everyone does this.

(That said, I am really just amused by the comment.)

Missy - welcome, and thank you! :-) I will definitely check your blog out.

Paige and ADM - heh! thanks. Seriously, though, I do wonder how to deal with blogs that annoy me.

[Patty Steck]

I can think of one particular instance in which I quit reading someone's blog -- I knew the person IRL, and what they were saying made me realize that I'd have a hard time if I ran into them. Oddly, it wasn't political, but rather their attitude about animals that made me stop reading.

I have stopped reading blogs that were either too 'woe is me' -- for no good reason, or too 'I'm super-duper awesome, but nobody recognizes that but me'. I don't tend to read blogs with which I disagree politically -- but, then again I don't read many political blogs -- I leave that up to Hubby :).

[Feminist Avatar]

I have quit reading a few blogs when they became too dull imo (usually due to zealous repetition of the same theme over and over again at the absence of anything else) to motivate me reading, but having a different opinion isn't generally what motivates it. But, like you, if I really disagree with you (as opposed to having a friendly discussion) I won't comment.

[Seeking Solace]

I try to live by the philosphy that you just can't fix stupid.

There are some blogs out there that I have stop reading for a while because of the "woe is me" or "I am so awesome and you're not" posts.

What is tough is when there is a post that leads to some nastiness among bloggers. There was one instance last year on a very popular blogger's site which send me into a whole new dimension of pissed off. The problem was that the comments turned into personal attacks rather than a health debate about the topic. I wanted to speak up to say "Hey, we need to stop the hate and discuss the issue." But, I doubt it would have done any good.

As for snarky comments, I have snarked back at people who post on my blog that I do not know. I know my bloggy friends and if they say something, I am sure it comes from a pure place.

[meg]

If shelly was indeed a troll, then s/he is lapping up all this attention....

I have unsubscribed from many, many blogs -- not just the boring ones but the good ones too. There are just too many out there, and a girl's gotta draw the line sometimes.

But I would never unsub from NKotH!

[Phantom Scribbler]

I am taking "you just can't fix stupid" as my new personal motto for dealing with teh internets. Seriously, that is fabulous.

I think strangers who leave snarky or mean comments on a blog are only one step higher in the social-skills ladder than strangers who would try to insert themselves into a conversation between friends in real life. If you wouldn't interrupt someone's conversation on the subway, you probably shouldn't do it on teh internets, either.

[dance]

Phantom, that seems kinda harsh. How does one join a blog community without interrupting conversations among friends? But the analogy makes it clear the interruption should be friendly and useful---who interrupts to insult someone?

(posts the woman who TOTALLY interrupts strangers' conversations in public, although I think the last time I did it they were trying really hard to remember a book title/author that I could provide)

[Susan]

I always think about blog comments as being more about *joining* a conversation rather than interrupting it (although it often takes me a long time to get up the nerve to leave a first comment on blogs, even now when I'm a pretty experienced blogger/commenter. I spend a long time lurking, getting over the feeling that Blog Author and Frequent Commenters won't want new comments. Which is dumb, as I know on my own blog I love it when new people comment!)

As for Shelly....I'm a fan of the don't-say-anything-at-all-if-you-can't-say-something-nice. Which doesn't mean I don't comment to disagree sometimes. But commenting just to say that someone is boring? Very bad etiquette.

[lucy]

I keep thinking I should unsubscribe to a couple of blogs that annoy me, and yet I don't. I haven't even blocked the facebook friends who only update their status to say how many days until wedding/baby is due. I don't know what I think I'll miss if I stop reading.

[Phantom Scribbler]

Dance: One generally does it by listening long enough to the conversation such that, when one does begin to participate, one is familiar with the internal conventions of the community and can make an introduction, not an interruption. I do understand that some people simply don't have the ability to pick up that level of social nuance, and may still have something valuable to contribute to the conversation. But I should think those people could be self-aware enough to take extra care to avoid unintentional rudeness.

[comebacknikki]

Oh, I do the same thing! In fact, repressed librarian & I read a few of the same blogs that irritate us -- of course, we bitch about them every time we get together. :)

[Anastasia]

omg I read this and all I could think was oh no, she reads my blog but actually hates me waahhh!! yes, I am that self-absorbed.

[New Kid on the Hallway]

Anastasia, it's totally not you, I promise! It's none of you guys here!

How to join blog conversations is a tricky thing - but there are ways to do it, and ways not to do it. Ditto in real life!