I should have gone back to bed

I just got back from getting a HIDEOUS hair cut. I'm actually kind of pissed at the stylist, because the last time I was there, she cut off about 4 inches of hair and gave me a kind of layered, choppy, piece-y, kind of funky cut. So when she said, "What are we going to do today?" I said, "Well, I liked what we did last time, so I just want it trimmed back into shape."

And she gave me MY OLD HAIRCUT, what I used to get when I had 4 inches more of hair. I liked the haircut with that much hair, but at this length, it's like the worst kind of matronly bob. It's too long to do anything cute and funky and too short to be long. It's like I have some stupid brown bowl on my head.

I realize this isn't even really worth blogging, but you know, my hair is VERY important to me. Good haircuts just give me one less thing to stress about on a daily basis. And my personal style walks a little too close to the matronly in general - I count on my hair to save me from crossing that line. I'm tempted to dye it in fuschia stripes just so it doesn't look so dorky.

Okay, back to your regularly scheduled thoughtful and serious blog reading...

Comments

[Anastasia]

hey, this is serious. a brown bowl is not okay and hair matters. It doesn't matter like social justice matters, of course, but it certainly affects your life.

[Friday Mom]

Ooo! Sorry about the haircut. Is there anyway you can get the stylist to get it back to the new style?

[PPB]

Oh, I hear ya (says she who is trying to grow out scary highlights). Hair is important, because it's not like clothes that you can change every day. Go back. She'd probably rather you do that than walk aroudn with hair you don't like.

[michelle]

I come from the "it's just hair, no matter what, it'll grow back" school of philosophy but that's only because I endured the era of the everyone-straight-haired seventies while I donned the frizz mop from hell, and yet still, I deeply sympathize, particularly when you're counting on your hair to give you a funk edge. :( Maybe a second visit is warranted.

[New Kid on the Hallway]

Thanks for the sympathy, folks! I probably should go back and ask her to change it, but being an utter wuss who shuns all confrontation and who's incredibly intimidated by beauty professionals, I'm actually considering using this as an excuse to jump ship entirely and try another salon. Except I'm being sort of perfectionist/tightly wound about how to choose another one...

And having showered and fussed with the cut, it's not quite as bad as it was when the stylist styled it (I've never liked her styling); it's just that at this point I might as well grow it back out and I'm not sure I want to do that. Although ironically longer hair is easier in the summer b/c I can just put it back...decisions, decisions!

[wolfangel]

NK, I hate that too -- for my sister's batmitzvah, I despised the way the guy did my hair, but I didn't say anything until I got home and started crying -- and then I had to go back to have someone else fix my hair (she still does my hair now, actually).

Totally switch salons. I'm not sure what to say about how to choose one, maybe ask around? And when you're there, put in the fuschia. I love coloured hair, just can't pull it off myself.

[michelle]

Well, you wouldn't have to be confrontational about it. You could just despair. (Got any Scarlett in ya? ;))

[What Now?]

Bummer! I almost always hate my hair, so I've gotten used to the daily shame of bad coiffure, but I long to have fabulous hair. I'm so sympathetic about your bad haircut!

[New Kid on the Hallway]

Hee! Michelle, that is an AWESOME suggestion! :-)

[Phantom Scribbler]

Never apologize for hair-blogging. Hair is of the utmost importance. Wolfangel, for my OWN bat mitzvah I got the World's Worst Perm, and had to endure the thousands of photographs taken of the moment for YEARS afterwards. If only I had stood up to the hairstylist. Or my mother, whose idea it was.

Let us know if the Scarlet thing works. If it doesn't, I have another idea...

[wolfangel]

For MY bat mitzvah, I had this ginormous lemon yellow poufy barette thing. And I liked it! You can see it sticking out of my head in all the photos. Too bad (or good?) I don't have a scanner.

I think this was right _before_ my stylist convinced me to cut my hair to shoulder length (way! too! short!) and get layers. (She suggested. I said no. She kept suggesting. I gave in. I never went to her again. Curly thick hair = never ever ever ever get layers. Ever.)

[New Kid on the Hallway]

Man, I wish I had curly hair... everyone I know who has natural curls grew up hating them, but I still covet them. I once cut a friend's hair in college (in high school and college I occasionally cut my own and other people's hair - I don't know WHAT I was thinking), and she had really curly hair and I made the classic mistake of pulling the hair straight, cutting, and then - ooops! It sprang WAY back. Like really much shorter than either of us had expected way back. She was really nice about it, but I think that was when I stopped cutting other people's hair. ;-)

Oh, and I permed for years (hey, it was the 80s, people). I still have 80s-trained tendencies to big hair. The whole stick-straight thing the spread from Friends all over the place a few years ago did NOT meet with my approval. And I had lots of poufy barrettes, too (remember bows? lots of those! I actually kind of miss them - they were cute, in a scary preppy way that's coming back...)

[kristiface]

Is this the same stylist that messed it up two hair cuts ago? Because if it is(!) I would march back in there, make a scene, then march back out-- having embarrassed myself so badly, I would NEVER walk back in there again, preventing myself from getting another bad hair cut.

This post reminds me... I'm gonna have to go see my own Hair Rock Star Joe!

[tiger]

...I hopped over from a comment you'd left on Bitch Phd.'s blog. Regarding Xanax making you depressed etc & oh well, "back to the anxiety & irritability, yay."

Xanax made me more depressed AND far more irritable. Have you tried Klonopin?? I've been on it for awhile now and it's been a life-saver in the anxiety dept. Although no matter what I take I can't seem to get rid of the irritable bitch... so y'know :) whatever. ...at least I'm not in the throes of panic near constantly. Xanax was not good for me. Klonopin--FAR better. Plus (well, all benzo's have a high record of being addictive but according to my shrink--Klonopin is "less so." Because, Xanax for instance is released into the system immediately--so the "effect" is *noticeable*. Klonopin takes about 1 1/2 hours to reach it's full effect--so the body/mind doesn't begin to associate it with relief quite so much & lessens the feeling of *gotta have it.*

...anyway. Just offering my 2 cents. :)

[tiger]

...and there are few things that SUCK as bad as a crappy haircut. (I have anxiety issues with stylist's. this would probably be why I've not had my hair "officially" cut in like... ack 4 or 5 years?? yeah, somthing like that--I have naturally wavy/curly hair & have been lucky to get by this long just trimming it up occasionally on my own)
Anyway... you should totally add some whacky color streaks. *I* think anyway. :)

[Ancarett]

I still have trauma from a bad hair incident in grade nine. I got an overall tight perm that made me look like a gawky Orphan Annie. I cried so much my mother took me back to the salon the next day and we relaxed the perm as much as possible. Still too curly, but I could survive (mostly by plotting to grow my hair out as I did for the next decade).

I agree that throwing in some colour could be fun. Profgrrrrl's pink streaks are great -- why not get some fuchsia streaks in front?

[yankee transplant]

NK: I have a SOLUTION! I have a great hairdresser! If you want his name and phone number, let me know here and I will e-mail it to you. He's not by the river, but he's not far, either, just a little east.

[New Kid on the Hallway]

Oooh, yes please, YT! (I just sent you an e-mail but then from your comment wasn't sure if I should have done that.) THANK YOU!

[Toronto Girl]

OMG! This is a CRISIS! I am religious about my hair so I can understand blogging about it. In situations like this you need to be an aggressive customer and ask her to fix it and/or ask for your money back. I've done that, but onyl after a particularly expensive cut.

On the topic of layers for curly hair, I disagree with Wolfangel. Long layers yes: short layers no. For my cousin's barmitzvah I had an ASYMETRICAL BOB, in other words, a space-age Jewfro.

[Celandine]

NK, just for the record - in the eleven years I've known you (eep!) I've always thought you looked good regardless of your haircut and what you thought of it! :-)

[Zh.]

I'm lucky that I have a stylist who tells me after every cut to come back in a few days if I hate it. I did go back once. I got an asymetrical to the -nth degree cut: shaved on one side and chin-length on the other. I looked like a Duran Duran reject but nowhere near as cool. I went home, cried, and then called my stylist. He fixed it without complaint the next day and I didn't feel like I was relieving elementary school.

If you really don't like the hair, I think that you should go get it cut again by somebody, anybody. They're not called bad hair days for nothing and can you imagine a couple of months of them?

[Rana]

Oh, that stinks. Bad haircuts are not good. At least this one is longer than you'd like; that way you don't have to wait until it grows out. (And fuschia could be fun!)

My own two worst haircuts both involved having bangs -- one of which was a result of an over-enthusiastic stylist when I was being a bridesmaid, and one which was the result of my doing that "stretch and snip" thing. This was when the rest of my hair was at its longest length. So... here I was in _high school_ with huge purple glasses, long split-endy hair, and microbangs. NOT attractive.

[Another Damned Medievalist]

Oooh! Hair toys. I have an entire bag of them, and I know I'll never use them again -- partly because I never want long hair again. But if it's bad, just get it fixed. Oh -- and next time you really like the cut, take a picture and show it to the stylist. Can you do color? I can't being a blonde person -- I was seriously auburn for a while, and it looked good, but as a blonde I've only had highlights foiled in. Nowadays, (now that the grey is actually starting to show), I've just given up. But a good cut (and 'product') can be wonderful!

[Emmy]

Long time reader, first time responder. Haven't even finished reading all the comments but had to write.
Had a similar problem in November. Went on an impulse to a place I won't ever step in again. Almost got in an argument about what I wanted & what she thought would work. Gave in. Regretted it. It's finally starting to get long enough so I can tuck it behind the ears again.
Love the idea of adding color. Scarlet is very flattering so let us know what you decide on.
Also loved the bows from the '80's.

[New Kid on the Hallway]

tiger - hi! Thanks for the comments - I haven't tried Klonopin, but haven't had time to get back in touch with the psychiatrist yet. Will keep it in mind. (Am hoping that the summer will mellow me out...wishful thinking??)

Ancarett - my sister had your perm experience, too. She never permed again! (However, I continued to do so for another 5 years!)

Toronto Girl - LOVE the image of the space-age Jewfro!

Celandine - thanks! I do realize that the most absurd part of this is that I doubt anyone I see on a regular basis even realizes I got a haircut. I'm a little OCD about the hair. But it still looks all wrong to me. ;-)

Rana - bangs are a tricky, tricky thing. I think I spent my entire junior high life fighting with my stylist about how short the bangs should be (I have to have bangs, as I have a huge forehead, but the micro bangs are just sooooo evil...) (unless you're Lauren at feministe, of course.)

ADM, I doubt I could ever seriously go blonde - I think my self-image would explode (have been brunette for so long!). I do love the reds, though. (And I have done the chunky blond-ish highlights.) One of my vows for LDH going back to school, though, was to forego salon color until we're back on two incomes, and while I will experiment some with drugstore stuff, I'm too chicken to do much on my own (it's my respect for authority thing; the stylist is a professional! I am an amateur! Can't trust my hair to the amateur!). Which also means that the fuschia will probably stay safely in theory. Although some colleagues of mine were daring me to go for the skunk look (which I actually quite like on the right people)...

Emmy - welcome! I love it that you've been reading along but were finally inspired to comment by the post on hair. ;-) In fact, I just realized that this is a girls-only comment club over here.

[Another Damned Medievalist]

NK -- absolutely on the pros. I got most of mine done at a beauty school -- cheaper and almost every time was fantastic -- the one time it wasn't, they fixed it the next day. Tried to do red myself once? Pink. Like a rainbow trout. Got it fixed at beauty school the next day.

[SFTR]

It's a good idea not to tell off your hairdresser. They have an underground network, and you wouldn't want to have an X put next to your name in the magic book(remember the Seinfeld episode where Elaine had the rash...)

I feel for you though; I'm also on the lookout for a new hair stylist after "the cut from hell".

[wolfangel]

You've gotta have super long hair to pull of long layers with curly hair, because otherwise, the shorter parts sproing up too much. (Long layers with wavy hair, on the other hand, are lovely.) It is probably clear why I don't do bangs. And, honestly, microbangs just look stupid. Every time they're in style, they look stupid, only on lots more otherwise stylish looking people.

Actually, I think I have phenomenally lovely (curly) hair -- it just needs a stylist to bring out its potential. Or, possibly, a less lazy owner, but I am not likely to spend an hour a day on my hair, so nevermind.

[wolfangel]

And, NK, another good way to get lots of all-girl comments is to complain about anything period-related.

[Powerprof]

I totally understand -- so sorry!!!

[MB]

I use to have curly hair until I started to use the chi now my hair is barely wavy! I haven't used the chi in over 7 months and I don't know how to revamp my hair. Any ideas? Something that doesn't leave my hair sticky pls.